Retirement or sabbatical?

I've been trying to think about what retirement means and how I feel about it. I'm not sure of either.

I retired at least once in the past, perhaps twice. The first retirement was from a career in molecular biology research wherein I studied various aspects of DNA damage and its repair. I earned a Ph.D. from SUNY/Buffalo through this work and held positions as postdoctoral fellow and research associate at the Stanford University School of Medicine.

Then I wanted to try something different. I searched for a year before finding a home at IntelliGenetics, a little startup (coincidentally by some Stanford folks) in Palo Alto. It was a software company at the intersection of two very new disciplines: Artificial Intelligence and Molecular Informatics. The personal computer was just stretching its legs and the future was clear - computers were going to be an important part life science research. That was in late 1982.

So I guess you could say I was retired for a year before doing something new. I suppose it didn't feel like a retirement because I had the intention of continuing a career. I just wasn't sure what that would entail but I was probably never going to be a molecular biologist again.

I had a productive career in software development at IntelliGenetics, Intellicorp, and Apple. Then after I left Apple in 2004 I retired again.  I didn't know what I wanted to do next although I thought it would be in the technology realm (and not in the world of basic molecular biology research). So I took a few years to suss it out.  I tried contract development, starting a little speech recognition software company (too early) and doing independent development. Nothing panned out so I joined a little startup called Validus. Again, a retirement of sorts followed by a job but contrary to my expectations I was doing software development again.

Validus morphed into Imprivata and then the company closed the west coast development operations. Now my age made me feel like I was really going to retire this time. That is, I am not actively looking to land a new job. But am I retired?

If the meaning of retirement is the intention to never work again then I suppose I would say I never actually retired. In fact I don't think I am actually retired now although I don't know where I will end up in the near future. But I don't intend to never work again. I just don't think I want to be working now, at this moment, doing what I have been doing up until now.

Perhaps "on sabbatical" would be a more apt description of my current state. The sabbatical is now thought of as a time to cease everyday activities and responsibilities for a period of travel, reflection and exploration of new ideas. It was intended to be a time of rejuvenation. Does this more adequately describe my current position? Maybe but generally implicit is the notion that after the sabbatical one goes back to their occupation. In that sense it doesn't fit.

I think until there comes a new word for the sabbatical untethered from a job I suppose I will just say I am "on sabbatical" rather than "in retirement."